What does it mean to be "yourself"...?
It can sometimes be difficult to live as your true self. This is true whether you're a student or a working adult. Everyone is different, and strictly speaking, there may not be anyone who understands you 100%...whether it's family, a lover, or a friend.
But still. We only have one life. It's no fun living life hiding who we are, worrying about what others think and what they think of us. You are you. Others are other people. I want to live my life proudly as the kind of person I am. I want to cherish my own style, unconstrained by trends or the opinions of others. Even if I'm called "selfish." Even if I'm called "self-centered"...!
Because that's me .
These are three women who struggle with finding their own identity.
~In the case of Mei (35) ~
Mei is a single office lady working at an IT company. She has a modest personality and is always concerned about how others view her and what they think of her. She wears inoffensive clothing to work, but she actually likes cute clothes and things. However, she thinks they don't suit her. Because she loves them, she buys so many cute items that end up sitting unused in drawers at home. But she really wants to enjoy "cuteness" to the fullest.
"Why am I such a boring person...?"
Mei's self-deprecating mutterings as she sat on the sofa faded away without anyone hearing them.
The next day, when Mei arrives at work, a female colleague greets her, and she smiles back and says "Good morning." Then she notices the key ring on Mei's bag. This item isn't particularly eye-catching, so it's the only one she brings to work.
However――
"May-san, that heart key ring is so cute!"
"fart?"
Mei is taken aback by the sudden compliment, but the junior colleague's eyes are drawn to the key ring. She never thought she would be noticed. Even if she tries to hide it, it's too late. There's no need to hide it, but Mei feels a bit awkward.
"Where did you buy it? I want one too."
"Well... I saw it online... I thought it wouldn't suit me."
Mei took precautions herself, because she didn't want to be told, "It doesn't suit you." As she was nervous, the junior colleague tilted her head and asked, "Why?" Mei was surprised by this unexpected reaction. She had lived her life trying not to be seen as out of place when it came to cute things.
"It suits you. You like cute things and miscellaneous goods, Mei-san, right?"
"picture!?"
"No, I'm really surprised. I'm always looking at cute stationery in the office."
"I know," my junior girlfriend continued, laughing mischievously.
"I wonder if that's true...?"
She may have been checking out some cute stationery, but she was completely unconscious and had no idea that someone had seen her.
"I also love cute items! Can you tell me where I can find online stores selling key rings during my break?"
"Oh, yeah. Of course, that's fine."
The junior girlfriend looked at the key ring Mei was wearing once again and muttered, "It's so cute!" Although she knew that cuteness was just a miscellaneous item, Mei felt happy as if she was being praised.
"Well then, let's work hard today too!"
"...Uh, yeah."
Although Mei was taken aback by her junior's words, she also felt a sense of relief. That night, Mei began to take out the miscellaneous items that had been sleeping in the drawers of her house one by one.
"It's okay to like cute things even if you think they don't suit you."
The miscellaneous items she has purchased so far include accessories, pouches, and card cases. Mei also changes her work bag and packs them in.
"It seems like a fun life surrounded by things you love!"
The next day, Mei puts on earrings that are suitable for business situations and rushes out of the room. She's not dressed to impress others, but rather in a slightly more elegant style that she likes. Her pouch and card case are all her favorites. Just by wearing them, her commute is different from yesterday. It's always up to her to turn her life around. Mei gets on the train in a happy mood.
~In the case of Rin (27) ~
Hairdresser Lin is a woman who loves fashion. She is occasionally described as "unique," but even that is a compliment to her. Lin has been interested in fashion since her school days and decided on her dream for the future early on. "I'm going to become a hairdresser because I can dye my hair any color and no one will get in trouble!" she told her parents, and just as she declared, she has become a wonderful hairdresser. She has blue hair and pink nails. She enjoys coordinating her outfits every day, taking inspiration from overseas models. One day, a girl around middle school age came into the salon where Lin works, looking gloomy.
"welcome"
"……Hello"
The crying girl's hair was not black. It was light, as if it had been dyed. Rin instantly thought that maybe it was just a pale color.
"Um, I don't have an appointment. Can you cut my hair for me?"
"Yes. If you wait a little while, we can cut your hair. Do you have a preference?"
"...I want my sister to cut it for me."
"Understood! Please wait a moment."
Rin was worried about the girl's complexion, but after receiving her card she started preparing for the haircut. She glanced at the girl sitting on the sofa in the waiting room, and she was looking at her smartphone with a sad look on her face.
It's clearly a sensitive time. Rin had a lot going on in her junior high school days. I nod and say, "I understand." Once the preparations are complete, I lead the girl to the cutting table.
"What style would you like today? I currently have a long bob, but is it okay if I cut it?"
Rin asked the girl through the mirror, and the next moment, the girl burst into tears.
---picture!?
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Rin becomes very flustered when she sees the girl crying big tears, so she pats her on the back to calm her down.
"...! I'm sorry..."
"Um. Have you calmed down?"
The girl nodded in response to Mei's question, then opened her mouth with some difficulty to say, "Actually."
"My teacher at school told me to dye my hair."
Rin was surprised to see the girl's eyes turning red, and exclaimed, "Huh?", realizing that even in this Reiwa era, a teacher like that still existed.
"But this hair color is my natural color. My parents have explained it to the school."
"...But you told me to dye it?"
"Yes. If you don't want to dye it, just cut it short."
"Huh?!"
---This is so unreasonable...!
Rin tried to calm herself down and looked at the girl through the mirror.
"Umm, your name is Henri-chan, right? What do you want to do yourself, Henri-chan? Let's ignore what the teacher said for now."
Henri then bit her lip and said in a low voice, "I don't want to cut my hair or dye it black." That's certainly true. She hadn't done anything wrong. Her hair was her natural color.
"Then there's no need to cut it! Let's leave it as it is."
"Huh... But when I said I didn't want to, the teacher called it 'selfish'. 'Self-centered'."
"No, that's not true. This hair color is Henri's unique feature."
When Rin smiles brightly, Henri looks surprised and mutters, "Individuality." From Rin's perspective, Henri doesn't need to dye his hair black again or cut it. He's a student, so he might not enjoy fashion. But fashion isn't something you should be told to do by someone else. If you want to, you can, and if you don't, you don't have to. The decision is always yours.
"There are a lot of kids overseas with hair color like Henri's. But teachers at school never tell them to dye their hair black. That's because they accept each child's individuality."
"That's right……"
"Yes. So you'll need to talk to your teacher about that. I'll have your mother talk to him."
"……got it"
And so Henri left the salon without getting his hair cut.
Later, when Henri came to the hair salon, he was smiling brightly, unlike before. It seemed that a meeting had been arranged between the school and Henri's mother. The school had decided to prioritize the individuality of its students, which Rin was relieved to hear.
"Thank you so much, Lin-san!"
"It's because Henri worked hard."
"No. If I hadn't met you that day, I probably would have cut my hair. So I'm really grateful. That's why I want to become a woman like you."
Hearing Henri's words with such joy, Lin almost cried. She was truly glad that she had become a hairdresser.
"Thank you. Cherish your individuality!"
There is no need to suppress or erase your individuality. Yes, only you can make yourself shine.
~In the case of Mio (30) ~
Mio, who works at a trading company in Tokyo, is a hard-working woman who loves her job. Although she is still young at 30, she is already a manager. She has a straightforward personality and never speaks ill of others, so she is a woman who is relied upon by those around her. However, she actually has a problem.
Her worries are about marriage and childbirth, which are inevitable for women. Perhaps because of her age, she has recently been asked more frequently by her superiors, colleagues, and even junior colleagues, "Why don't you get married?" and "Don't you want children?" Mio has been dodging the question each time, but finally her emotions explode. It's a phone call from her mother.
"Yui, who lived nearby, got married and had a baby!"
"Oh really?"
Mio's mother continued talking, unaware that she was nodding along with disinterest.
"It's a girl! Hey, what about you? Have you got a boyfriend yet? Stop working all the time and find a good guy."
This is happening again, Mio thought. She was feeling annoyed inside, but she suppressed her anger and simply replied, "I know."
"You don't understand, do you? Mio is 30, so she's almost a child."
Mio's anger reached its peak when she realized what he was trying to say. Even parents have their own opinions and opinions, and this comment is a major problem in today's world. If it had been made by a celebrity, it would have caused outrage.
"Oh come on! Shut up! This isn't Mom's life!"
"Your mother is worried about you."
"So that's what you call meddling! I don't want a life like yours!"
Her mother gasped. Mio hung up the phone and threw it onto the sofa, but her anger was still there.
---I'm not Yui-chan or her mother! It's my life!
The next day, Mio is still a little sleep-deprived from the anger he felt the night before, but he has to visit his boss for work. Like Mio, she is a workaholic, but she is married with a child. She is also someone Mio secretly admires.
"good morning"
"Oh, good morning. Thank you for coming."
After the greetings, the conversation quickly turned to work, and Mio became focused. After about ten minutes of work-related discussion, her boss suddenly asked, "So?"
"picture?"
"You must be sleep deprived. Your makeup can't hide it."
Mio quickly covers her eyes with her hands. It's true that she's sleep-deprived, but she never thought her boss would notice. It seems her boss knows everything. She sighs and begins, "Actually..." When she honestly explains why she had fought with her mother, her boss nods in sympathy.
"...Honestly, I'm not really interested in marriage or children."
"I see. As Mio said, it's your life, so live it however you want. There's no need to compare yourself to anyone else. It's okay if you don't live like Yui-chan."
Mio felt her heart lighten as her boss laughed heartily. As she said, she didn't have to live like her acquaintances, nor did she have to live like her mother told her to.
---This is my life, so I'll live it the way I want!
"That's right! Thank you!"
Mio felt relieved. Maybe in the future she would want to get married. Maybe she would want to have children. She could just think about it again when the time came. Mio went back to work, excited as if she had discovered a new " me. "
Living your life as you are without worrying about what other people think or what they think
Just like these women, I'm sure everyone is searching for their own identity. There are times when living life the way you are and you are seen as selfish or criticized. But don't you think that if you worry about such things and hide yourself, it would be a waste of your life? Because
You only get one life to live as "your current self " ! But living a life of deceit and hiding is empty and restrictive. It's boring to live in fear and worry about what others think. Since you only have one life, the winner is the one who enjoys it the most!
So...even if people criticize you sometimes, or think you're selfish, live your life to the fullest and have fun!
